Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Digging into Sam's Club Men's Room Urinal!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER: This post has graphic pictures of a kidney stone! If you have a sensitive stomach, click away now!  :)

Sam's Club discount warehouse
 Yes, you heard me right!
I gagged, but it happened, not by choice, but lack of options!



Not the best place to pass a darn kidney stone

After 2 trips to the ER this past week and 1 visit to the Urologist this afternoon Gil's Kidney Stone "Asteroid" finally passed when he finally let his guard down at the Sam's Club Men's room urinal.

Let me explain:
We tried the Asparagus/Coca-Cola (Diabetes Coma), he felt the stone move a little.
Started on the White Bread and Mayonnaise and regular crackers with Mayo...he felt the stone move a little more...
He jumped up and down, ran up and down the stairs and he could feel the sucker move a little...
No pain and no move for a couple of days, he was peeing in a strainer for a whole week and never left the house with fear that the pain would suddenly come back, NOTHING!
He had an appointment with his doctor in Cambridge, near downtown Boston on Monday morning at 9:30am, as he woke up Monday morning to get ready for the doctor, BAAM! PAIN! 10 Times stronger that the one that drove us to the ER last Wednesday.
I drove him to the closest ER, spent 30 some odd hours standing up next to him and sitting occasionally at a chair next to his ER gurney, while HE SCREAMED to the top of his lungs, he cried like a small baby, curled up like he was dying, they gave him so much pain medication they had to monitor his vitals to make sure he was still breathing, yes, it was that bad.
He finally got out of the Hospital sometime yesterday, Tuesday afternoon with no pain and a vague idea of where the stone might be, we drove home and both crashed in bed until sometime today around noon when we got up, got ready and left for his Urologist appointment.
Living the Urologist office we had a heated argument in the car, I thought the meds were talking, he was out of himself, he yelled like an insane person...I was quiet, I was drained, no energy to fight back, I just drove.
When we were close to our exit on the highway I told Gil we needed to go by Sam's Club and get Water!
He was at the time (this afternoon) still trying to pass the stone and drinking tons of Water, we have one of those Water Coolers that you need to buy the big blue bottles to put upside down on top of it and Sam's carries a great brand of quality Spring Water for only U$3.88 for the Big Blue Bottle.



Spring Water Bottles-trying to pass the kidney stone

As we drove into Sam's parking lot, I said, you need to calm down, save your energy for passing this frigging stone, it's not out yet remember?
The doctor just said you might be back at the emergency room anytime now!
I walked into Sam's and as usual, after being on the road most of the afternoon, I went straight for the Men's Room at the entrance...I was still mad at him for yelling at me in the car...
He was also grumpy (to put it nicely), he followed me in the do the same thing...we both needed to pee really bad...



Men's Room Urinal, Gil was on the shorter side for children, so he actually heard the noise of the stone falling


I am peeing next to him at the Urinal and he jumps up and says SHIT!
ME- What now?
Gil- I just peed the freaking bastard into the nasty ass urinal!
ME-WHAAT? REALLY? WTF? DID YOU FORGET? STRAINER? JAR? REMEMBER? CRAP?
Gil- YES, I DID, I AM STARING AT IT!
ME- DDO SOMETHING! (Yes, I stuttered), Someone might walk in and will want to use the freaking urinal!
Gil- I already picked it up, the sucker is in my hands, it's not going anywhere!
ME-GAGGING and DRY HEAVING FROM AN EMPTY STOMACH, I had nothing to throw up!
ME- Don't wash your freaking stone in the sink, you might loose it down the drain...!!! Here put in this piece of paper!


Here is the little sucker, I placed it on a closet light so I could take a picture



It does look like a freaking asteroid, it has different colors



Asteroid looking Gil's kidney stone



It does look like granite and now I understand why it hurts so bad

As we walked out of the Men's Room, both pale, looked at each other's face busted out laughing out of control!
I felt my legs shaky like when you have a car accident...
He washed his hands profusely as he also gagged from what he had just done...
It actually didn't hurt at all, the kidney stone only hurt when it's at the end of the Ureter Canal, which is the tube that connects your kidney to your bladder, once it's in the bladder and has to cross your Urethra to get out it doesn't hurt at all, you fell it, but it doesn't hurt.
We actually relaxed, finished our shopping and the first item on our list was a giant sized PURELL JUG!




The Hell is over.
Peace and quiet is back at Gil-Ray-Okie's household!


GIL'S RECIPE TO PASS A KIDNEY STONE: SCREAM YOUR HEAD OUT FOR UNINTERRUPTED 20 MINUTES! It should take care of it!



Ray

7 comments:

Jim said...

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So glad this is over for the both of you.

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now are there things to do to ensure it does not happen again? I hope?

Nancy said...

Oh my god, I am officially traumatized. I have had two kidney infections since I've been in Brazil (6 months) and I get bladder infections at least once a month. I'm positive that I have some sort of kidney stone or something, but I can't go to the urologist until I get home because I have no insurance here...ahhhhhh now I'm terrified for my visit when I get home to california (5 days!)

Danielle said...

Haha!! That whole event sounds horrible and painful, but at least it gave you a funny story for your blog, right?? :D Something you guys can look back on and laugh about for many years to come.

Also, Gil is totally right about his screaming remedy. Dr. Alexandre always wants to give me medicine for the smallest problem, but I tell him that sometimes the best medicine is just complaining, and him saying "oh, poor baby!".


But I repeat Jim's question... what causes kidney stones, and how can you prevent them?

Gil and Ray said...

Jim, Danielle,

Now we take this stone to his regular doctor, they send it to the lab and will find out what it's made from to find out what caused it and how to prevent it.
It could be genetic, it could be something in our diet, it could be something else...let's see what it is and then the doctors will tell him how to prevent it for the future.
While he was out in the ER, the doctors were telling me that there is a guy who always comes in with lot's of stones and he suffers like hell every time, in his case is genetic.
They already saw with the Ultra Sound that Gil has three other smaller stones on his other kidney, so we need to get ready for those...at least those are smaller and I think now that we now about them the doctors can give him medicine to break them up or dissolve them in smaller pieces.


Ray

Gil and Ray said...

Dear Nancy,

There should be free clinics all over Rio where you could get your problems checked and solved, they will even give you the medicine for free.
Don't go on suffering like this Nancy!
You should have a doctor in Brazil because they are getting a tight grip on getting medicines without prescriptions, so if you have these common infections you can get your meds and keep getting them treated.
Have a great trip home and hope you are ok with you doctor visits.

Ray

Gil and Ray said...

Danielle,

You got it, these was a life time event, we will laugh about it for years...
Off course with Gil and I it couldn't happen in a boring/preventable way at the peace and quiet of home peeing the stone in a strainer, it had to be in a dramatic way like that at a public place...right after an epic fight! :)



Ray

Stephanie said...

so glad he passed the stone and hes not in pain anymore!! how awful!! but too funny that it happened like that! it sounds like something i would do too!

just as a side note...i really loved sams club. i miss it.