Originally Posted at Forbes
Personal Finance
Aug. 4 2011
By DEBORAH L. JACOBS
Six states and Washington, D.C. allow same-sex marriage. But 13 others permit civil unions or domestic partnerships.
Same-sex marriage is here to stay. Six states and Washington D.C. allow it. Another 13 states (see map, above) permit “domestic partnerships” or “civil unions” to provide gay couples with varying degrees of rights.
Yet under the current system, marrying does not put same-sex couples on equal financial footing. Whether they are concerned about health insurance, taxes, property ownership or being parents together, planning for a gay couple poses special challenges. My recent article for Forbes magazine, “Married, With Complications,” provides a rundown of practical issues.
Under federal law, same-sex married couples aren’t getting all the legal benefits that opposite-sex married folks enjoy. They aren’t entitled to each other’s Social Security benefits, can’t sponsor each other for citizenship and aren’t covered by the law that protects a spouse’s right to a company-sponsored retirement account, for example. Yet like heterosexual couples they take on the financial burdens that come with marriage, including the obligation each spouse has to support the other if one loses a job, becomes disabled or runs up big medical bills not covered by insurance.The gross inequities are reminiscent of earlier battles, which led to passage of the 19th amendment giving women the right to vote (1920); the landmark Supreme Court ruling in Brown v. Board of Education that segregated schools are unconstitutional (1954), and another high court case — aptly named Loving v. Virginia — that abolished state laws against interracial marriage (1967). Have we learned nothing from our own history?
If you think some arcane, antiquated law is to blame for today’s civil rights violations, guess again: the groundwork was laid during the Clinton Administration, in the federal Defense of Marriage Act of 1996 (DOMA). It defines marriage as a “legal union between one man and one woman.” In 40 states there are mini-DOMA laws, meaning that state law or the Constitution bans same-sex marriage. Ironically, in eight of these states politicians reached quirky compromises that still permit domestic partnerships or civil unions.
This state of disunion can wreck havoc with the lives of same-sex couples, says Virginia F. Coleman a lawyer with Ropes & Gray in Boston. One issue is how to get out of a marriage if state law requires residency and you either are no longer a resident of the state where you married or never have been one. Most courts have refused to grant divorces in such circumstances. Problems can also arise with enforcing rights to child custody and alimony, Coleman notes. DOMA says that states can disregard the marriages of same-sex couples (and presumably all the commitments that go with it), even if they got legally married in another state.
Various lawsuits challenging DOMA are winding their way through the courts. But even if they succeed in overturning the federal law, states will still be left to their own devices and the trouble will persist. To end it, we need a constitutional amendment prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation.
It’s not just the politicians who are holding us back. A more profound problem is the people who elected them. They range from religious zealots to folks who understand the civil rights issues but have admitted to me privately that they “have trouble getting used to the idea” of same-sex relationships.
Where some people see controversy, forward-thinking advertisers have identified business opportunities, as noted in my post, “Same-Sex Weddings Inspire Creative Ad Campaigns.” It includes a slide show that Forbes staffers put together, of ads that appeared around July 24, when the Marriage Equality Act took effect in New York. On that day, 659 same-sex couples picked up licenses in New York City and 484 tied the knot at marriage bureaus.
At the time my husband and I were in Vermont, visiting our son Jack, 14, at sleep away camp. I happened to be standing outside the dining hall when the news was read aloud during breakfast — a daily camp tradition. Following the announcement that same-sex marriage is now legal in New York, campers and counselors broke into cheers.Their reaction speaks volumes about what’s ahead. Starting in nursery school, Jack has had classmates who came from families with two mommies or two daddies. He doesn’t see any reason why same-sex couples should not be able to get married. If we don’t put an end to the huge civil rights violations, his generation certainly will.
No comments:
Post a Comment