Brazilians are NOT Hispanic!


And neither are the FRENCH CANADIANS, HATIANS, JAMAICANS, GUYANESE, SURINAMESE or the SPANIARDS for that matter!!

Please add French Canadians to the Latinos side and REMOVE Spaniards from the HISPANIC side! Thank you


HERE is a definition to the term Hispanic and Latino Americans, that might help you understand this discussion a little better or it will just confuse you completely if you think like I do.

I have been in discussions about the definition of the word "HISPANIC" many times since the first time I lived in the United States back in the 1980's.
The first time I heard it, it didn't make any sense to me.
I  was at a small government agency applying for a Social Security Number because I was going to High School in Oklahoma and needed the document for School purposes.
While completing the form, under the section "RACE", I didn't have any doubts, I checked "White", no big deal, right! But I was quickly corrected by the government agency lady "helping" me fill out the form, she said, YOU ARE HISPANIC, not WHITE!!
I thought to myself, EXCUSE ME! My grandparents came from EUROPE; France, Germany, Italy, part Catholic, part Jewish heritage, you name it, I might be a mutt when it comes to Europe, but I have no doubt in my mind I am WHITE, CAUCASIAN, whatever you want to call people from Europe, I am blond, have fair skin and have green eyes. My mother has natural red hair and light blue eyes, if I am not WHITE I should go back to school, because I learned that CAUCASIANS, European, are WHITE, PERIOD, regardless where they were born.
The semi ignorant lady from that specific small office proceeded to explain that I was from Latin America, so, in her book I was HISPANIC when it came to RACE, UGH!!! WHAT??? Really, in what freaking planet?
I fought her to the end, not because it would be a bad thing to be classified as anything other than WHITE or CAUCASIAN but because from the PLANET EARTH where I grew up, regardless of where you were born, your RACE doesn't change. P E R I O D.
Your culture, sure, but your RACE, impossible, you are what you are, regardless of Geographic positioning. I would still be CAUCASIAN if I was born in GHANA or JAPAN, wouldn't I?... Thank you!
After that ridiculous discussion in my early teenage years I became somewhat interested to understand why and how UNCLE SAM'S forms insisted in classifying people as HISPANIC, even if we were something else.
Just a little research will lead you to information regarding the ORIGIN of the word HISPANIC, which for starters has NOTHING to do with the word HISPANIA. HISPANIA was the original name Romans gave to the people of the Iberian Peninsula, keep in mind, that was even before Portugal became a country with a separate and distinct culture and language from Spain.
If you have any doubts between the cultural differences between Brazilians and Mexicans, try this, offer a Mexican Avocados with Condensed Milk and watch him gag or try to place some slice Avocados in a Brazilian salad and throw some Olive Oil, Lime and Salt over it and watch he throw up! Salted Avocados!!!No way Jose! Remove Cilantro from Mexican's cuisine and watch them have an aneurism and put Cilantro on anything besides some FISH in Brazil and watch them refuse to eat your disgusting Cilantro infested meal, hell, Italians don't even know what the heck cilantro means. Sao Paulo is mostly Italian, I will tell you, I never knew what Cilantro was until I lived in Oklahoma in 1989.
Ok, having said that, the word "HISPANIC' was INVENTED, MADE UP, CREATED by PRESIDENT REAGAN'S administration to identify the growing number of BROWN people moving into the United States from the South.
It was ORIGINALLY used to define RACE, not ethnicity or culture as you may see it today.
In earlier years, the US government forms had the following options for RACE; Caucasian, African American, Asian, Pacific Islander, Native American.
They had no real definition for the BROWN folks from Mexico and other Central American countries, they weren't Africans, they weren't Caucasians, they are, for the most part, a mix of many races, mostly Native Americans mixed with Spanish or some other Caucasian group with a just a dash or a lot of African influence, like it's the case of Dominican Republic, Cuba and Puerto Rico.
The biggest fear of the American government at the time was that the "new brown" folks, who were basically Native Americans from south of the border would move into the US and start taking advantage of all the benefits available to the Native Americans born in the United States.
I lived in Oklahoma and learned about these benefits. They are actually very good and both Uncle Sam and the"Native Americans" felt threatened that if these new immigrants ("brown folks") from South of the border had precedents and started claiming "native American" benefits in the US.
If that had ever happened, the whole program would have it's days counted.
Ok, solution, EVERYONE south of the US border would be classified as HISPANIC. I always thought Reagan was a freaking idiot!!! Ok, even if he had little to nothing to do with the creation of this idiotic situation, he was an idiot for many other reasons.
The people who came up with this definition were clearly not very bright, because if you have traveled around Latin America, you have noticed that there are many folks of African origin, many people of Asian origin ( Peru for Example ), several countries south of the US border have a large majority of their populations composed of Caucasians ( Argentina,  Uruguay and Chile for example ), you have Guiana with a huge population of Indians, who are actually south Asians.
You have Brazil, that, for starters, doesn't even speak Spanish, doesn't have a Spanish culture.
Brazil in general has a very distinct Portuguese influenced culture with strong African flavor and a large percentage of Caucasians as well, hell, you can get more Italian than Paulistas if you tried.
So, the whole concept of the word HISPANIC is a real MESS, a true embarrassment for the ignorant people who created and even a bigger embarrassment for the US government that embraced the broken concept of this misunderstood subject.
So, over the years, we watched the US government desperately back paddle out of this mess with enhancements to the term, more recently we have started to see the US forms changing from RACE : HISPANIC, to RACE : "HISPANIC of CAUCASIAN origin" or "HISPANIC NOT of CAUCASIAN origin" and even more recently some government agencies started separating the term HISPANIC from the RACE field and including a separate field for "Ethnicity" WHAT? Really!
Give me a freaking break!
Just drop the term all together, it's ignorant, it's RACIST, it's confusing and nobody really knows what the hell it means anyway, even the people who created still haven't really made up their minds about what it really means.
Not even anyone in the US government is clear about it, trust me!
If you try to find definitions about the term, you get even more confused, I certainly do and let me be crystal clear about this, I am not confused about what I am or what people of most races are, I just get frustrated and confused trying to make sense of some government forms that insist in using a term without clear definition.
My suggestion, just abandon this ridiculous term all together and forgetaboutit!!!! Will you?
Example, with a quick Google search, below are some of the "COMPLETELY" "CONTRADICTORY" definitions I found.
Now, just for fun sake, I will try to explain and see if I can help you spot the contradictions I see by making some remarks below in YELLOW BOLD and Italic:

Definitions of Hispanic on the Web:

• Spanish American: an American whose first language is Spanish.

Ok, right off the bat, this definition would be trying to tell you AMERICANS who speak Spanish are Hispanics, right? So forget about the Mexicans, Guatemalans, Colombians etc...Ok, so this is saying ONLY Americans who have Spanish as first language are HISPANIC. CLEARLY leaves BRAZILIANS out! 

• related to a Spanish-speaking people or culture; "the Hispanic population of California is growing rapidly"
  wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Again, confusing!!! So this definition is throwing "SPANISH" folks from Spain into the mix, after all, they are a Spanish-speaking people with a Spanish culture, Jamon Serrano anyone? 
NO, Spanish folks are Spaniards, not HISPANIC, look it up on your dictionary, and by the way, the last time I studied Geography and History, Spaniards from Spain are CAUCASIAN not anything else.
What the hell is wrong with this people who make up crappy definitions as they go???
God save us all after the invention of Wikipedia!!! After all, if something is on the internet, it must be true right!

• Hispanic (hispano, hispánico) is a term that originally denoted a relationship to the ancient Hispania (geographically coinciding with the Iberian Peninsula). During the modern era, it took on a more limited meaning, relating to the contemporary nation of Spain.
  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hispanic

STOP!!! Please!! My head is spinning already! There you go with HISPANIA again, you can't just throw around the words "Iberian Peninsula", "modern era" and throw the Spaniards from Spain in limbo again, ok, you just robbed them of their RACE, their identity, they are no longer CAUCASIAN, now after your Geography deprived ignorant brain acted on your stupidity, people from Spain are HISPANIC, again!
What are you going to do with the brown folks coming in from the south??? Thank you! I thought so! Go back to school and select GEOGRAPHY and HISTORY while you are at it! PLEASE, I beg you!

• Race and ethnicity in the United States Census, as defined by the United States Census Bureau and the Federal Office of Management and Budget (OMB), are self-identification data items in which residents choose the race or races with which they most closely identify, and indicate whether or not ...
  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hispanic_(U.S._Census)

Ok, here comes confused old Uncle Sam again, PLEASE CHOOSE, you invented the freaking term, so make up your mind, ETHNICITY or RACE? CHOOSE ONE, stop confusing people, stop making a mess.( OMB ) Yeah, your Federal Office of Budget confusion has been caught red handed trying to convince BRAZILIANS in the BOSTON area to CHECK HISPANIC on government forms, that way you can inflate the HISPANIC population sensus in the BOSTON AREA by about 300 thousand, yes, that is the number of MOSTLY Caucasian Brazilians living in the Boston Metro.
That way, the Hispanic community gets a bigger portion of the Budget dedicated to them.
Now just go ahead and try to CHECK HISPANIC, if you are a BRAZILIAN applying for one of the grants or schoolarships available to the HISPANIC community in the area, it's not gonna fly, you will get your samba dancing Brazilian behind kicked faster than you can learn to spell TEGUCIGUALPA..
You are only considered a HISPANIC to help inflate the numbes and increase the BUDGETS available to the HISPANIC community but you can't really be a part of the benefit.
What the hell are you thinking, you WHITE ELITIST BRAZILIANS, these funds are for the needed poor brown folks from south of the border.

• A Spanish-speaking person; A person residing in the United States, Latin America or worldwide of Spanish ancestry, generally but not always exclusive of Brazilians; Of or related to Spain; Pertaining to a Spanish-speaking people or culture, as in Latin America; Of or pertaining to the Iberian ...
  en.wiktionary.org/wiki/hispanic

Ok, these one has completely gone off the deep end.
I am not even gonna try to explain or make sense of anything written on this crazy freaking definition, whoever wrote it was really high on some misterious drug not yet available to the general public yet, "GENERALLY BUT NOT ALWAYS EXCLUSIVE OF BRAZILIANS"  WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
Brazilians who speak Spanish, well, there aren't any, for your information, unless off course you started to call HISPANIC the Brazilians who learned how to speak Spanish at a language school.
I rest my case on this one, let me just point out the word "wiki" is related to this definition. Need I say more? For all we know it could be George W. Bush writting this definition on Wiktionary or whatever the hell this thing is called.
Then it would make total sense, if good ol'Georgie wrote this, I would totally understand and feel much better, by the way. :)

• Hispanicism - Hispanism (also referred to at times as Hispanic studies) is the study of the literature and culture of the Spanish-speaking world, principally that of Spain and Latin America. ...
  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hispanicism

Ok, so now we have derivatives of the crazy mistery Reagan era created word.
Still not making any sense?? Brazil and Quebec are Latin America and have NOTHING to do with HISPANICS!!!

• Hispanicity - The Hispanidad (Hispanidad) is the community formed by all the people and countries that share a common Hispanic-heritage and cultural pattern.
  en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hispanicity

So, we finally find a definition that makes a little sense, but GUESS WHAT? It is defining ethnicity, NOT RACE!
Well, at least they don't throw Quebec and Brazil in the definition with the rest of Spanish speaking America, because if you learned Georgraphy or History you know that Brazil and Quebec are of Latin culture as well, but not of Spanish cultural background. 

• Hispanicism - A Spanish language item as it appears in another language
  en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Hispanicism

I think I understand this one...but I better call some of my friends from Miami to get some clarification, I will get back to you on this one... ( No, I won't )

• People who identify with the terms "Hispanic" or "Latino" are those who classify themselves in one of the specific Hispanic or Latino categories listed on the Census questionaire - "Mexican," "Puerto Rican," or "Cuban" - as well as those who indicate that they are "other Spanish, Hispanic, or ...
  ne.marketmaker.uiuc.edu/glossary.php

Oh, please, "Latino categories listed on the Census questionaire"... "other Spanish, Hispanic... How can you be OTHER Hispanic if Hispanic is used for every freaking people on these crazy govenment's form imagination???? HOW? Hooooow????
French Canadians-Latinos for sure! Hispanics? I don't think so and try to tell a French Canadian retiring in Florida that you throw them in the same boat with the Mexicans, Puerto Ricans etc... again, it's not gonna fly!

• Children whose parents reported their ethnicity as Hispanic, regardless of reported race.
  www.nccp.org/tools/demographics/definitions.php

So, this PEARL is defining the term HISPANIC as the "Children whose parents reported their ethnicity as Hispanic"!!!! ?????
So, what about RACE, did you forget? Reagan wanted to clearly SEPARATE the BROWN people from the rest of us, remember? The 1980's wasn't that long ago!!! The term was invented in the 80's!!!

• Someone of Spanish descent living in the United States. A term used by the government and often by people of Latin American descent who vote republican. This term is problematic in that it focuses on a colonizer (Spain) and ignores African, Asian, American Indian, and other European ethnicities. ...
  elenamary.com/terminology/

This is a total BIPOLAR definition.
Ok, so, someone of Latin American descent who VOTED REPUBLICAN!!! WHO VOTED REPUBLICAN?????!!!!! 
You must be freaking joking right!!! At least you admit it, for the first time on my findings of crazy definitions, that "This term is problematic", YES, the first thing I read on these searches that made any sense. THANK YOU!

So, according to the definition above, Antonio Banderas is not Caucasian, he is Hispanic Right?

• Persons (based on self-identification) who are descendants of the Spanish settlers in the Southwest; descendants of early immigrants from Mexico; recent immigrants and their descendants from Mexico; Cuban refugees and their descendants; Puerto Ricans; and immigrants and their descendants from ...
  www.elca.org/Who-We-Are/Our-Three-Expressions/Churchwide-Organization/Research-and-Evaluation/Demographic-Reports/Glossary.aspx

Ok, we are getting creative again, so now we are HISPANIC if we are Spanish settlers in the Southwest, not if we are Spanish settlers in New York, Massachusetts or Florida for example.
I can see the Spanish settlers in the Southwest getting a good tan and fitting in your "Brown folk" classification, but the Spanish settlers in Massachusetts and New York are not tanned, they are as pale as the French Canadian or the Italian Americans living in the Northeast and what about Florida? Have you seen those Florida women's TAN?
Those ladies have a mean TAN. I don't really know if it's from TANNING BEDS or not, but it doesn't matter, they are SUPER BROWN, most of them Jewish and of European origin, but who cares, your definition makes no sense anyway, thrown in the Jewish New York/New Jersey brown ladies from the tanning salons of Miami, why not?
Just keep in mind, they don't vote Republican, they are BLUE IN THE FACE DEMOCRATS!! 

Typical look of a Miami "brown" Jewish woman of New York origin. Hispanic? 

• A US citizen of true-born Hispanic heritage, from any of the Spanish-speaking areas of Latin America or the following regions: Mexico, Central America, South America and the Caribbean Basin only.
  www.kodak.com/US/en/corp/supplierdiversity/requirementsDefinitions.jhtml

So, this definition is somewhat reveling and enlighting, "NOT REALLY", but once we all embarked on this crazy trip, let's get to the bottom of it, shall we?
Ok, so forget the Brazilians and French Canadians, ( unless you want to inflate your numbers to get more government funds ) , you ONLY became a HISPANIC when you became a US citizen, GREEN CARD HOLDERS DON'T COUNT! Citizens only, so, before you become a citizen, you are a Mexican, Central American, Bolivian, Brown, Mixed Race, Chihuahua whatever.
If you wanna become a part of this select group called "Hispanics", get your freaking citizenship in order, will you?
A mere 1200 Dollars aplication fee to become a citizen will get you in, Uncle Sam thanks you for your hard earned dollars!
Hell, we might just have to buy another batch of Tomahawk cruze missiles for our next international policy fiasco, we need the cash, caugh it up and we will gladly call you HISPANIC! :)

Talk about Chihuahua, below is a visual representation of how much sense the Hispanic classification makes to me:




White/Caucasian Hispanic



Pacific Islander Hispanic

Mexican Hispanic

Hispanic of Caribbean origin!





Hispanic of Asian origin





Hispanic of African origin



Hispanic of Spanish origin!

• Over 2,200 years ago, when the Romans conquered the Iberian Peninsula, they renamed the place Hispania, which is better known now as España, or Spain . ...
  americanhistory.si.edu/collections/mexicanamerica/glossary.html

I refuse to explain that HISPANIA known to the Romans had nothing to do with the term created by the Reagan administration in the 80's to define the BROWN people crossing the border and to make sure they were different than the "BROWN" people already born here, called Native Americans and enjoying some hefty government entitlements negotiated as the CAUCASIANS advanced over their land a couple of centuries ago, remember "The trail of tears", "General Custer", "Indian Wars"? You get my point.

• A person of Mexican, Puerto Rican, Cuban, Central or South American, or other Spanish culture or origin, regardless of race.
  nces.ed.gov/pubs2010/2010309/glossary.asp

This one is the classic "BACK PADDLE" situation, when the government realized how ignorant they were trying to throw all of Latin Americans in the same RACE classification basket, they started switching and adding "culture", "origin" and ethnicity in the mix!
Not flying, at least not in my book.


All right, so, if you were interested enough and was able to follow my rants about the crazy definitions I found regarding the word HISPANIC on the world wide web, you would probably be able to answer the following questions, just for sake of consistency, let's use the same classification as the forms used by the US government, ok, ready!

Here we go:

1-A person of Italian origin, let's call him Tony Soprano, born in Broklin, New York:
HISPANIC - YES or NO?

2-A person of Italian origin, one of my friends, Marcelo Ferrarini, born in Buenos Aires, Argentina:
HISPANIC - YES or NO?

3-My mother's next door neighbor, Dona Vida, born in Spain, of Spanish culture, makes the meanest paella on this side of the Atlantic, a Brazilian citizen, immigrated to Brazil in the 1950's, still speaks little to no Portuguese:
HISPANIC- YES or NO?

 4-One of my best Sales Managers, speaks five languages, born in Miami, Spanish was his first language while growing up in Florida, father from Honduras, mother from Trinidad and Tobago, he is not TANNED, he is as black as Pele ( google Pele-images for a visual example ):
HISPANICE- YES or NO?

5-Alberto Fujimori, the former President of Peru, of Spanish culture, Spanish was his first language while growing up in Peru, his parents were born in Japan, emigrated to Peru in 1934, he was born in Lima in 1938, his family was Budhist:
HISPANIC- YES or NO?

6-A person from Spain who immigrates to California and becomes a US citizen?
HISPANIC- YES or NO?

7-A Mexican, with both parents that immigrated directly from Spain, Caucasian, born in Mexico, immigrates to California and becomes an American citizen, this person is definitely not brown, he has fair skin, red hair and blue eyes:
HISPANIC- YES or NO?

8-Are Haitians Hispanic? They are certainly Latino's, right?

 9-My dear friend Catharine Whitworth, 3 generations Argentinian, of 100% English origin, from Bariloche, Argentina, fair skin, blue eyed:
HISPANIC- YES or NO?

10-Some Visual examples:

Snooky is brown! Is she Hispanic? She sure looks Hispanic to me!

Snooky actually has Lebanese and Chilean parents, she is born in New Jersey!! Hispanic or Not?
Heck, if you follow the "Brown" folk rule, you might as well throw the entire cast of the Jersey Shores on the Hispanic classification, agree?

Cast of Jersey Shores. Your garden variety Garden State "Brown people"! Hispanics?

Confused much? I don't blame you, so am I and so is anyone working for Uncle Sam and trying to make any sense of these forms and insane classification.

All right, I think I made my point, the definition is IDIOTIC to begin with, just DROP IT, let people check the RACE they identify with the most, the RACE the think they look like the most or just check MIXED and please don't make it worse my mixing in culture, ethnicity or whatever else your little creative mind comes up with during an attempt to back paddle out of the mess your created.
MIXED RACE folks are clearly going to be the majority in the United States soon anyway, sensus results were published today and the facts in...
Uncle Sam! Good luck trying to fit people in the HISPANIC basket in the future.
Today we see Indians mixing with Cambodian with Brazilian with Cuban with Nigerian with Chinese, German, Irish, Cape Verdean, Jamaican, Tibet...it doesn't stop here, we are all going to be one big "TRUE" melting pot faster than you say "Carne Assada", which by the way means exactly the same thing in both Spanish and Portuguese ;)